Does Status Quo Make Your Heart Beat Faster?

Now that the rose petals have wilted and we’re all frozen in the tundra, I gotta know…does status quo make you feel special?

I love romance! Especially when it comes to my writing. There’s nothing more poetic than waxing lyrically about those first tingling moments two characters fall in love. The way a single glance can ignite a fire deep inside. The delicate way his fingers trace your jaw. And the husk in his voice the moment you know he’s in just as deep as you are.

And it’s not just books. Every relationship – or at least I hope for your sake – has these little moments of sensational bliss. Whether it’s the chase or simply the wooing, relationships go through what I like to call the sweet spot. That grace period when endorphins run high and love is “in the air.” But it’s after that time passes, when the natural curiosity wears thin and you know your partner inside and out, that we have to put forth a little more effort. Which leads me to my real question…

Does Valentine’s Day truly bring out the love in your relationship?

Sure, it’s the day designated for love…and red hearts, chocolates, teddy bears, and overpriced roses. But does it make you feel special? Or anymore loved?

See, I’m a skeptic. Not about love, but retail holidays. I’ve been with the hubster for 12 years – if I can do my math correctly. For the past 11 years we haven’t celebrated the holiday, and this is why…it’s meaningless. Again, I’m not referring to actual love; that my friend is one powerful thing that we cannot live without. What I am talking about is the overabundance of materialistic crap we call love.

So, it’s February 14th. Your husband/boyfriend/life partner/secret admirer has bought or had a florist deliver you the beautiful bouquet of dead roses (yes, if you aren’t aware of this fact, it is true. Once cut, the flower is no longer living or thriving, but slowly wilting), he/she has attached the box of chocolates (half of which you will smash or break open to see what’s inside, before deciding you don’t like it and then throw it away because no one is going to now eat the candy you have mutilated) and the ever so wasteful greeting card (no, I am not a fan of greeting cards…for any occasion. What happens to the $4 you spent? Someone looks at it and then eventually it ends up in the trash. Why not just throw a 5 in the can and call it a day. It’s just as productive.) If you are lucky – or creepily weird that you’re an adult receiving toys – you get a plush bear to complete the ensemble. Then he takes you to dinner, where you wait among the crowded entry ways freezing – it is February after all – every time the door opens, only to feel like your waiter is rushing your through your “romantic” meal because there is a wait 45 minutes long still needing to be served. Still feeling special?

Based on an article by IBT Pulse, the average spending per person on Valentine’s Day is $142.31. Your man/women spent $142.31 ($284.62 including what you bought him/her) so that you could be JUST LIKE THE OTHER 98% OF AMERICAN’S THAT CELEBRATE THE HOLIDAY. Wowzers! That’s a lot of dough just to be status quo!  You really must feel special, broke and ready to hit the gym after all those coco calories!

Ah yes, you there that is still reading and saying that’s not me…you’re different. Your man bought you an arrangement of your (non-rose) favorite flowers (they’re still dead). He cooked you a steak on the grill, lit a few candles, even cleaned up in the kitchen after himself. Your man isn’t falling in the status quo, he’s going above and beyond… NOPE! Who do you think reminded him he was supposed to do something special? Hint: He didn’t remember on his own. Target, Walmart, Hallmark, any retail store that you walk into and are immediately bombarded with the red hearts kept him well alerted to the impending day. I’m sorry, but I’m still not buying it. You’re still failing for the one day that retail stores tell you that you should express your love with gifts. (PS. America spent a whopping $18.9 BILLION on Valentine’s Day…tell me again how it’s not about retail, but love?) Although, I commend your efforts to slightly break the mold, there are plenty of folks thinking just like you. “We’ll do something different, special, at home!” Still not making you any different from the norm.

Again, I love romance. I love Love. But doing what society tells you is a must, on a day they have deemed fit, just doesn’t scream special to me. It just doesn’t. It’s stressful, it’s often disappointing, and it’s as far from true love as I can see. But the random spring day a few years back, as the hubster drove by a florist and decided for no other reason than “why not” to buy me flowers (yeah, yeah, I know they are already dead) and bring them to me at work, now that made my heart skip a beat. It may have been a slight heart attack that made my heart skip a beat that day, being as it was probably only the second time in our relationship he had bought me flowers, but it was random. It was thoughtful. It was his idea and his alone. Not fed by retailers or social expectations. It was just love.

So prove me wrong? How does status quo make you feel special?