Attack of the Terrible Tarantula…The Sequel

Did you read yesterday’s blog? Well, let’s just say it went downhill after that.

After my lunch date with a spider dangling in my face, which nearly sent me into cardiac arrest, I decided that luck – or some other divine intervention – was on my side when I didn’t crash the car. And then four hours later I decided life hates me.

Now, there are two things you may or may not know about my current state…1) I have an irrational fear of spiders in my immediate proximity, and 2) I’m 32 weeks pregnant (i.e. I have a very large belly).

So, four hours later (post yesterday’s blog) after stopping by the local CVS for some shampoo, the last thing I expected was another passenger in my car. And by passenger, I mean the second spider of the day crawling up my seat belt, across my very large belly.

Two! Spiders! In one flipping day!

That’s even cruel for Karma! But bad went to worse in a hurry. Once again panicked, on a four lane road, I began to smack at the pesky, eight-legged bane of my existence. Now, I know for a fact the first one was dead, so I am assuming this was his cousin Carlos out for blood and revenge. And boy was Carlos a stealthy ninja.

In my smacking rage, Carlos retreated to my leg – which I obviously began to beat – before disappearing into no-man’s land. If you have ever had the pleasure of being uber pregnant, you know what I am talking about…the area between your navel and mid-thigh that disappears for months. Honest, there could be a party happening in “the zone” and I wouldn’t have a clue, I haven’t seen it for at least a month. Left with no option, I began to smack/brush/swipe hoping like hell that Carlos would meet his demise. By time I pulled into our driveway a mile later, I was covered in sweat from the panic and exertion, but my mind was made up. There was only one thing to do.

I was burning the car to the ground!

Okay, I can’t actually afford a new one, so that option was off the table, but you better believe I was on the lookout this morning when I got back in it.

Not cool spiders. Not cool!